Family or domestic violence is one of the global issue, which unfortunately can be found almost in every family. This destructive issue has ruined numerous and various lives and caused most painful and miserable situations for many families too. The teachings from the Holy Quran and Sunnah of the Prophet (PBUH) addressed this issue and indicated the bad consequences of this destructive issue and exhorted the Muslims to hold mutual mercy, forgiveness and to ignore the minor mistakes between the spouses as much as possible. These teachings also urged on doing good deeds and treating the members of a household in good manner.
Allah (SWT) commanded us in His Glorious Book to treat and live honorably with our wives, to shun all types of violence and to overlook their minor faults. He says:
“And live with them honourably. If you dislike them, it may be that you dislike a thing and Allah brings through it a great deal of good.” (An-Nisa 4:19).
This verse clearly indicates that wives should be treated kindly by saying mild words to them and making one’s appearance appealing for them as much as one can just as he likes the same from them. It also invalidates all kinds of violence, such as beating them and depriving them from their due rights.
In a house where a husband and wife live in love and with peace, and care for each other, prosperity comes to that home. It is not deemed proper to get annoyed with minor things. Forgiving and overlooking the small mistakes of each other makes the home a lovable place to live in.
The Prophet (PBUH) said:
“No believing man should hate a believing woman. If he dislikes one of her characteristics, he may be pleased with another.” (Muslim 1167).
This Hadith reminds all husbands to be nice to their wives, for a believing husband should not dislike his spouse for minor faults and misconducts. Rather, he is advised to regard highly and appreciate her excellent manners and behaviors that may well be much more than the bad ones. Therefore, the Prophet (PBUH) also said:
“Indeed I order you to be good and kind to the women.” (At-Tirmidhi 1163).
Besides the obligatory rights of providing the daily and essential needs of wife such as: food, clothes and accommodation the husband has the authority to give an appropriate admonishment to the wife for her mistakes. Islam also forbids the husband from striking the face of her wife and disfiguring her. The Prophet (PBUH) said:
“The husband should feed her as he feeds himself and clothe her as he clothes himself; he should not strike her on the face nor disfigure her, and he should not abandon her except in the house (as a form of discipline).” (Ibn Majah 1850).
It is also forbidden for a wife to annoy her husband and the Prophet (PBUH) threaten the wife who annoys her husband. He (PBUH) said: No woman annoys her husband in this world except that his wife among the Al-Huril-Ain says: “Do not annoy him, may Allah destroy you, he is only like a guest with you, soon he will part from you for us.”
It is not appropriate for a husband to keep the household atmosphere formal and strict all the time; having a good sense of humor with the wife and children, and trying to amuse them, is not contrary to the status of righteousness.
Our beloved Prophet (PBUH) also admonished and exhorted us concerning the women by saying: how long will one of you whip his wife like a slave, then lie with her at the end of the day?
The rebuke to women for a mistake is necessary but it should be only verbal and with kind words of admonishment; if she is very careless and defiantly disobedient, then the husband should get angry; this punishment is enough.
In this day and age, domestic violence against women always remains a great concern in all societies. It is a serious problem that affects people from all walks of our life regardless of socio-economic stature, age and religion. It appears in various forms, which effects the entire society.
According to the above-mentioned Verses of the Holy Quran and the Sayings of the beloved Prophet (PBUH), wife beating or striking her face is certainly prohibited.
We pray Allah to make us from those who overlook the minor faults and mistakes of our life partners and forgive their shortcomings. Ameen!